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"Slunce tak neupřímně tvoří klam dokonalého světa."

NelaS

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:: Na SASPI.cz je právě 29006 příspěvků, 4550 autorů a 303521 komentářů :: on-line: 15 ::

:: Why Are There Stars in the Sky? ::

Werika	publikováno: 05.05.2010, 10:53

A short fairytale written for English Literature (our school subject) assignment. Možná to někdy přeložím do čestiny, zatím pouze "in English".


	Once upon a time, when the trees were so tall that they reached the sky and all animals could speak, there was a small kingdom. In the middle of this kingdom you could find a little village, hidden in a dark, dense forest and in the middle of the village a little wooden house stood. It looked just like all the houses in the village, but the person that lived there wasn't the same as the other ones... Did you see that tiny freckled nose in the window? Did you noticed those dirty feet that ran behind the fence and vanished as quickly as they appeared? Did you? That was Johny. He was so lively and curious that he couldn't stop for a moment. He asked a hundred questions since he woke up and didn't stop till he went to bed. One day he went to his old grandmother's house and - as usual - asked her a question: ‘Granny, why there is no light at night?’ Here we will stop for a moment. You have to know one important fact - at that time, there were no stars or the moon in the sky. When a night came, everything was covered by deep darkness. The poor woman had no idea and she told him to visit a priest. When Johny asked the question, the priest looked at him with surprise and thought for a moment. He didn't know the answer, but he didn't want to embarrass himself. Thus he replied: ‘Only the God knows why, dear child.’ This was not enough for the curious small boy and he continued asking other people from the village, but no one could answer him. Finally, Johny decided to leave the village and look for the answer somewhere else. He took a few cakes with him and he walked... and walked... and walked. Suddenly, he found himself in the middle of the forest, and he had no idea where he was. It was getting dark and cold and the forest looked dangerous. Johny was a little bit scared, so he decided to stop ad sit down. He ate up one cake and fell asleep. In the morning, he was woken up by the warm sunbeams. When he opened his eyes, he got frightened - there was some blue creature right in front of him, sitting near the bag with cakes. It looked at him curiously, then it jumped out and said in high voice: ‘I am hungry. Do you have a mouthful of something?’ Johny wonderingly watched the strange creature. He carefully looked over it. It was small like his palm, with long arms and thin fingers, its skin was deep blue and there were two silver horns on its head. The round shiny eyes seemed very clever, rather crafty and they were looking right at him. He thought for a while. The poor creature looked very hungry indeed, but it could be dangerous. After a few moments of hesitation he opened the bag, put out one cake and gave it to the creature. It devoured it very quickly and looked hungrily at Johny. He sighed and pointed at the bag. The creature ran to it and in a minute all of the cakes vanished in its stomach. Johny looked sadly at the empty bag. He was hungry as well. The creature noticed his look and said: ‘Don't worry. You helped me, and I will help you, too. It'll be worth it, I promise. Follow me!’ He started to run away. ‘W-w-wait! Who are you at all?’ cried Johny. The creature stopped and turned back. ‘I am sorry I was rude,’ it bowed. ‘I am an imp, you see, and you can call me Darf. Follow me, please, and you won't regret.’ Johny thought: ‘I've got nothing to lose,’ and he walked, led by Darf. They were travelling the whole day and they stopped just for a few gulps of water. When Johny was about to say that he couldn't walk anymore, a magnificent palace appeared right in front of them. It was huge and whole made of gold. The gate was decorated by many glistening precious stones. In front of the palace there was a wonderful garden with many colourful and foreign flowers of an incomparable beauty. Johny stopped and stared at it. ‘This is my seat. You will work here,’ said Darf. ‘You will clean the whole palace every two days for a year and you will be awarded. However, you must never enter the small wooden door next to the kitchen. If you do so, you will be punished in a horrible way.’ Johny agreed. He did what he was told and cleaned the palace. It was exhausting, but he had good food and lived in a nice bedroom. He really wanted to look into the forbidden room, but he was afraid of it, so he never tried to open the door. However, one day Darf went away for a walk and Johny was alone at the palace. He stopped in front of the forbidden door and thought. ‘There's no one in the building, so I could open it, have a quick look and close it again. Nobody will figure it out,’ he told to himself. He carefully pulled the door handle, opened it, and he was very surprised. He expected many things, but that was something totally different. The room was small, but full of gold and silver light, which seemed to come from nowhere. After a while Johny noticed a small, dirty bag in the corner of the room. This was the source of the strong light. Johny closed the door. He turned back and suddenly saw Darf in front of him. ‘You didn't obey my rule, ’ he said angrily. ‘Now you know what is in the room. However, I give you one more chance. Take the bag from this room and bring it to my friend, Toku. He lives high in the clouds. You will find the sky bridge behind that meadow. If you fulfil this, I will forgive you, but remember, you mustn't look into the bag!’ Johny took the dirty bag. It was small, but surprisingly heavy. He immediately set off and walked without any stop. When he reached the bridge, it was already night, but he didn't have a rest. He almost reached the castle, when his curiosity appeared again. ‘I wonder what's inside,’ he thought. ‘It is probably something very valuable. I would like to see it very much!’ He slowly opened the bag. Suddenly, a million of small gold lights jumped out, followed by a huge silver light. They all floated to the sky and lit up the dark night with a pleasant shine. Johny amazingly watched it. Suddenly a tall slim woman appeared in front of him. Johny was scared, because he remembered the promise that he gave to Darf, but the woman smiled and said: ‘Don't worry. I am Ammel, the queen of the sky and you did a very brave thing. Darf and Toku are not friends of mine. They stole all those lights - stars and the Moon - from the sky and kept them in Darf's palace. You saved them and I thank you. If you want, you can live in my castle with me, my small hero.’ Johny was very pleased. He agreed and he and Ammel lived in the sky castle happily ever after. And what about Darf and Toku? That's already another story.


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:: Komentáře k příspěvku ::

Alasea	06.05.2010, 19:53:50

You surprised me. Allainila had told me about yours story but I did not expect so good fairytale. :-) I do not have anything else to say (or write) except the thing Alla wrote about. The finish of the story is really very fast. Ups, I thing that in this commentary there is more mistakes than in yours whole story!

Allainila	05.05.2010, 15:50:24

Nicely done. I was a little bit suprised, when I peeped in your profile. I think, considering your age, that your English is quite impressive. Are you studying some sort of language school? Or you are just SO good? :) But it doesn't matter at all. It's a nice story and should be the only importatnt thing. I would appretiate if you did not end it so fast. The storyline seems to be in big hurry from the parth when Johny comes in Darf's palace. I'm sorry for my horrible English. I'm not good at it. However, commentary in English fits English story. Or not? ;-)


ze dne 05.05.2010, 18:48:43
Werika: Thanks a lot :) Yes, I study at an international school in Ostrava and we learn all subjects, except Czech, in English :) I know about the hurry, my dad told me so, but this was written for an English Literature project and it should (I think this is not the past tense of 'should', but I donť know the right word :O) be about 2 pages long. This story is already three and half pages long and I didn't want to make it even longer :)

sirraell	05.05.2010, 10:52:06

Ok, mistakes and suggestions first: Did you noticed – Did you notice He asked a hundred questions since he woke up and didn't stop till he went to bed. – (I’m being picky here, it’s not wrong, it just somehow doesn’t sound right, the following is just a suggestion…) He’d ask hundreds of questions; he wouldn’t stop since waking up till going to the bed. ‘Granny, why there is no light at night?’ – why is there … He carefully looked over it. – He looked it up and down carefully. put out one cake – took out one cake It devoured it - ☺ I see you are skilled in using the dictionary, however you won’t always find the most suitable word if you don’t know when to use it. ‘To devour’ is a beautiful word, but does not fit in. perhaps ‘gulped down’ etc would be more appropriate. But good effort… He started to run away. – He started to run (into the forest, forward, west, south, etc) – away means away from Johny, you run away when you are scared, not when you want to be followed ‘W-w-wait! Who are you at all?’ - you cannot use ‘at all’ in the same way as ‘vubec’, it does not mean the same… here I’d say: ‘Who are you, actually?’ or something similar. They were travelling the whole day and they stopped just for a few gulps of water. - They were travelling the whole day only stopping for a few gulps of water. It was huge and whole made of gold. - It was huge and made entirely of gold. ‘This is my seat.’ – this is not really wrong, but sounds awkward. I know you are trying to use sophisticated English, but at times you are taking it too far. Nobody will figure it out,’ – find out he told to himself – he thought to himself/ he said to himself/he told himself and he was very surprised. – doesn’t sound right, try - and stared in surprise fulfil – fulfill walked without any stop. – without stopping Johny amazingly watched it. – watched it in amazement Overall, not a bad effort at all. Not the most original of stories, but it was pleasant enough for me to actually enjoy it. It is obvious you used the thesaurus heavily, but your use of English is not too bad. One of the best English efforts here on Saspi. Well done. 1.5.


ze dne 06.05.2010, 21:17:53
sirraell: You are only 13? Well hats off to you then. You are very good and those mistakes were not massive, I've seen worse made by native speakers. Keep up the good work.


ze dne 05.05.2010, 18:42:51
Werika: Oops ^^' I didn't know there were so many mistakes! My mum, who is learning English and is at higher level than me, checked it, but... well... feels embarrassed ^^' Actually, I used the dictionary only when I was really unsure. We learned most of the words (e.g. devour) at English Literature lessons, but I am still 13 years old and I don't know the grammar perfectly. :) However, did you noticED - this is really stupid mistake! :O Thanks for those kinds words in the end of your comment, I know I have to improve a lot, but thanks anyway :-) (I bet there are some mistakes in this comment, too! :D)