» Novinky
» Právě vyšlo
» TOP 20 díla
» Články
» Literární almanach
» MTP 2009

» Próza
» Poezie
» Výstřely do tmy
» Příručka publikování
» TOP 20 autoři
» Vyhledávání

» Workshopy
» Fórum
» SASPI Chat! (1)
» FAQ

» Knihovna autorů SASPI
» Redaktoři on-line
» Technická podpora
» SASPI team
» Odkazy
» Spolupráce
» Knihkupectví

"Osud si cestu najde."

Vergilius

počet přístupů: 2141696

obr

:: Na SASPI.cz je právě 29007 příspěvků, 4550 autorů a 303535 komentářů :: on-line: 1 ::

:: And The God Cried ::

Granpadia Crapate	publikováno: 23.10.2011, 17:44

###ANGLICKY###
An idea that woke me one not so long ago morning.


	I am not the god of Christians. I am not the god of Buddhists nor the gods of ancient Greeks. I am THE GOD. It surprised me that humans knew of my existence. However resolved I was not to interfere, however carefully I hid my presence and erased all the clues, they knew. It wasn't a surprise that they imagined my presence in the early stages of their society, when all the Nature I gave them was new and mysterious to them. It is the fact they retained the knowledge, furthered and refined it, twisted it and abused it as their society grew more complex and advanced that is unexpected. By then, by all my calculations, should have been left nothing from this early superstition as I held myself back from interferences of any kind, regardless how much it pained me at the times, knowing the knowledge of my existence would be poisonous and deadly for the human mind. Maybe it is the nature of all the creators to imprint part of themselves into their creation, infinitely more complex process than that of human artist, leaving behind in their creation a footprint of their soul, which I perceive more like a photograph of a soul rather than such crude and nondistinct shape of a footprint and maybe for that same reason I left my own footprint in the design of human society, which realized the fact or subconsciously felt it and never allowed itself to outgrow what meant only to be an initial superstition. Or perhaps because I left the footprint in the design, it folds into itself and every creation within must contain the original in some form, which, if it is so, will be only beneficial to the ultimate goal. I knew since my early attempts in society architecture that my presence must be at least disguised, for many of my projects collapsed in spite of my devoted care where I allowed the knowledge of my existence to be available. Much later it dawned on me through my sad experiences that all creatures presented with the idea of something ultimately more powerful, something of more knowledge above them will sooner or later start relying on that power - however fearful shape it may have, however dreadful it may appear or even be - for solving their problems, guiding them beyond the common good, beyond the guidance parents give to their child and which is supposed to be outgrown eventually and replaced by being's own initiative and knowledge of what is good and bad. I was saddened so many times seeing all my loved creations to surrender their own will incorrigibly misapprehending my purpose. The more I tried deny or correct those ideas, the worse things got, only limp puppets stayed where promising society once seemed to bloom into something beautiful. This last experiment of mine, Humans, holds much disappointment and pain for me. The pains of seeing my humans hurt each other for what they assume is wealth, for spreading of faiths, worships or beliefs to something they assume is me, with every attempt getting only further away from the reality of things. It saddens me so, seeing my people suffering, hurt and dead for reasons or ideas invented by the sick of their society, reasons such as and no more valid than religion or worship of any of their imagined deities. Little the humans know the only form of worship I wish for is their blooming society, for the humans to laugh, love and create. The less they know how important that last is. It is in the end the creation of their minds that is the reason for all those pains I am undertaking, patiently working eons after eons having only ashes for reward. But from them all no society ever looked so promising as this - my last one - and none ever looked less certain to succeed so long before the spiraling downfall. I gave them countless worlds and suns. I gave them everything they could ever desire – the most beautiful of planets for their cradle, free will - their lives into their hands, eons and eons of time, all the stimuli any being could crave for and most importantly the minds of complexity I only once before dared to bestow on a being and dreaded since, but knew this type of mind to be the key requirement for this bold project, should it have any chance to succeed at all. But what did people do? Warred, plundered, tortured, hurt, cheated, deceived none of which should have occurred, the less so in such extent, so late into the project. All was planed to be and it was just as planned until several millennia ago when the direction deviated from the given course and the progress of society entered its spiral-like trajectory towards it's end. I have watched so many of my project follow this course I do not dare verbalize their numbers or the pain it has brought me. And I can not bear the same happening to them, to my free humans. Too much is in stake. For that I cry. I have no eyes to cry from, I have no tears to shed, but I cry as I never cried before. I waited patiently, suffering their failures as long as possible. The downward spiral is about to close on itself now, to reach the point of no return and I find the only hope being that I reveal myself in a manner that would not enslave them, that would not bind their free will, that will not pluck shut the well of their imagination and creativity for those are the tools paramount to the eventual and ever less probable success. I fear. I fear for I can not be certain such a way exists, but there is no other option than to try. There is no heaven. There is no hell. There are only memories. The design of human minds is such as to preserve the souls of every creature that ever lived in its memories. The memories of the living are the resting place of all the souls that ever were. Those memories are the well of life where all the raw souls purge and filter, from which the new blends sprout into living to absorb new experiences, new loves, successes, disappointments and pains and to partake on new creations by which they grow only to save themselves in the memories of those coming after them to enrich the great source amalgam. There is no value in money there is no value in power, the only value is in creation, experience, kindness and love. It saddens me so, that those values are forgotten, even suppressed, by the leaders of my free humans. It saddens me more watch my free humans let their leaders slave them so. There is so many sparks in the mass of their minds that the light is brighter than all the suns, but the sparks stay ever isolated, lonely and short lived, never allowing even themselves to ignite the smallest of flames in fear of being consumed or put out by others. I never did nor I ever again will interfere with them again - except for this only time. I will not see them wither and suffer. I am resolved to remove myself from existence until such time when their Task is complete and that wakes me or long after their failure when and if the resonance of their last great ding cry penetrates the outermost reaches of the fabric of reality where I am going to plant myself as seed may be planted, giving myself up to the chaotic chance to be awakened or forgotten and if forgotten to eventually wither and finally vanish from the reaches of reality for ever. Should I reappear on their failure I will suffer the consequences of it. I will cry yet again, hurt beyond imagination and I may not withstand despair of such magnitude. But it is the price I am willing to pay. They must stop the greed and selfishness. There must be no church nor government commanding them how to live. Only the conscience of each person must lead that individual to what is right and it must do it. It's not the profit of one, few or many that counts. It is the prosperity of all beings, the living of lives to their fullest extent, that is necessary for reaching the ultimate goal, for such are the conditions under which the evolution and the creativity necessary for the Task is only possible. If only they gave humbly and graciously rather than sold what the other need, shared what they each have in abundance, worked together on common cause for the common good. If only they didn't allow themselves to be enslaved by individuals or groups, for every one of them has has the capacity to know what is right and what is wrong. If only the leaders synchronized and organized efforts towards prosperity and common good rather than shackled more and more people with always heavier and tighter restraining chains seeking ways to enrich, secure or put forward their own persons or interests. Then every human being would work with pleasure on what they do best and on what is necessary, knowing their work, however humble, is appreciated and valued by all, important in the greater scheme of things, for everyone and for a good cause, not because somebody told them it is, but because it simply is so. There would be no need for money as every person would like doing what they do for it is in their nature to do things to please others, to win their approval their gratitude, to prove their own worth. There would be no wasting of resources as the surplus would be shared, ultimately never any resource would be gathered or produced in unnecessary excess. There would be no needless strain on people, there would be no hunger and no wars, there would be creativity, love and happiness. And so I cry, knowing there is nothing more I can do for my free people than to let them know I existed, loved them and suffered in manifold all their hurts unable to intervene for that intervention woud destroy them and that there is Task set upon them to Create, love, laugh and grow, that I had not, can not and will not interfere, that they are only a step from unavoidable doom and their destiny is in their own hands only. No worship or deeds will bring me back and no action will please or satisfy me, but their success. I wish they could wake, open their eyes, throw away their chains accept their freedom and make the spirit of every single creature fly and bloom, for that is the only possible path away from destruction. And so I cry...


celkové hodnocení autora: 80.0 %		přidat autora k oblíbeným

hodnotilo celkem autorů: 0		komentovat příspěvek

autorské hodnocení: 0.0		uložit příspěvek

známka poroty: 3.0		tisk příspěvku

počet komentářů: 3		zaslat vzkaz autorovi

počet shlédnutí od publikace: 33		výpis autorského hodnocení

:: Komentáře k příspěvku ::

m2m	23.10.2011, 17:44:04

Zdravím a vítám na Saspi! Věřím tomu, že se ve čtenářský obci najde někdo, kdo dokáže zhodnotit anglickou gramatiku mnohem líp než já, z redakce jsem se ale nakonec textu chopil já. Mám dvě výrazný připomínky. 1) při registraci souhlasíš s OPP, v nichž stojí, že společně s cizojazyčným textem musíš dodat překlad (momentálně je tam ještě "autorizovaný", ale to vem čert, s novým Saspi budou nová OPP). Ono ani nejde o to, že bychom se snad zdráhali publikovat cizojazyčné texty, jde spíš o to, že ne vždy a všichni tou angličtinou vládnou. To jednak. 2) druhak je překlad důležitý pro redakci i z toho důvodu, že ne vždy máme lejstra na to, že tohle a tamto umíme. Já třeba angličtinu v životě nestudoval a tak nevím, jak mám chápat tohle: However resolved I was not to interfere, however carefully I hid my presence and erased all the clues, they knew. Jestli chápu správně význam, je zde however ve významu ačkoliv. Pokud ne, věta nedává smysl, pokud jo, zdá se mi mnohem lepší použít "although" nebo dokonce v týhle větě "as". Zastávám názor, že cizím jazykem by měl člověk skutečně vládnout, aby jím psal, a i když máš velice pokročilou angličtinu (například na rozdíl ode mě), stejně jsou tu jistá souvětí, která mi trochu vrznou. - Should I reappear on their failure I will suffer the consequences of it. a tak dál. (Dva nebo tři další příklady, už jsem línej je hledat :) Překlad by mi umožnil nahlídnout a posoudit. Třeba u poezie je angličtina zde na Saspi poměrně častá a ve výsledku z drtivý většiny přimhouříme oko, že to nemá překlad. Řada autorů ale ten překlad přiloží. Chápej, nejde o to, že bych textu nerozuměl. Jde o to, že ho neumím posoudit po gramatický stránce, protože nemám lejstro a protože co já vím, co je všechno povolený :) Angličtina má i velkou nevýhodu v tom, že si text moc lidí nepřečte. Tipnul bych to maximálně na dva další čtenáře, kteří zanechají komentář. Třeba se pletu, obávám se ale, že nikoliv. Text samotnej je ve svý podstatě filtrací všerůznejch textů, jichž jsem přeci jen četl dost. A je mi jedno, že byly v češtině či ve slovenštině. Text samotnej je spíš úvahou (i když ne žánrovou), je zamyšlením a řadit jej někam k literatuře bych se bez širšího rámce celkem obával. Nejde ani o tak oblíbenou fikci, v textu nejsou žádná fakta ani falza, je to jen několik odstavců o tom, co si jako autorka myslíš. Ne, že by to bylo špatně, to ne, ale nějak si myslím, že je to spíš text polemizační než literární. Polemizovat bych ostatně s Tebou mohl ve vícero případech u tohoto textu. Tvůj Bůh se mi zdá nějaký nebožský, spíš lidský a spíš humanitní, než jakýkoliv náboženský. Udělal jsem tohle a vzniklo z toho tohle. A i když mě to bolí, i když z toho brečím, pořád svoje lidi miluju, že jim nic neudělám. Proč? Co je to za Stvořitele, který svoje děti nehlídá a případně netrestá? Proč to nedělal? Takovýhle otázky mě napadaly a takovýhle odpovědi v textu bohužel nejsou. Jak říkám, je to všechno na velkou diskuzi, což jako že není špatně, ale osobně bych to přímo na literární server neviděl. Angličtina se mi zdá dobrá, to ne že ne, jsou v ní nuance, který znám, ale v životě bych je nenapsal (což svědčí o tom, že jsi tak řádově o tři třídy vejš) a samozřejmě samotná pointa textu je mi taky blízká... Ale jak říkám, osobně si myslím, že je to trochu málo. Redaktorská známka je irelevantní a pro celkový hodnocení nedůležitá. Uvidíme, jestli se tu objeví nějací čtenáři a zhodnotí a případně rozvedou diskuzi. A pokud si čtenáři budou myslet, že to tady má svoje místo, pak samozřejmě mají pravdu :) Čili známky mojí si nevšímej :) P.S. Jen by mě zajímalo, co bylo tím kritickým momentem, kdy se lidstvo začalo ubírat špatným směrem :)


ze dne 24.10.2011, 16:21:49
Granpadia Crapate: Jen jeste pro uplnost - neumyslne jsem pouzila myslenku (ci variaci na dane tema) z "Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy" od Douglas(e) Adams(e) - ohledne toho boziho kychnuti ... Omlouvam se, nekdy mi to zapaluje pomalu :)


ze dne 24.10.2011, 11:27:59
Granpadia Crapate: Ahoj ve spolek. Ta ceska verze uz v mem profilu je (asi jen pro adminy na nahlednuti - tezko preci muzu ulozit dva prispevky v jeden den?), jen moje cestina je uz, myslim, o dost mizernejsi nez moje anglictina (ktera stoji za prd (jeste)) a fakt, ze pobyvam v anglicky mluvici zemi tak nejak vedl k tomu, ze jsem to sepsala anglicky. To, ze tam jsou chyby a kopance toho si bohuzel vedoma jsem taky, spis mi slo o to podstrcit ven tu myslenku... Co se tyka odpovedi, ja myslim, ze proc "nezasahuje" je z textu zrejme - z predchozich zkusenosti uz vi, ze pokud by "zasahlo" ve svem vysledku znici svobodnou vuli, kterou u lidi potrebuje. To ze je ten muj buh je nebozsky :) to je legracni pripominka - je teda nevim, ale copak nekdy na zem nejaky buh sestoupil a sdelil nam jaky je, co vsechno muze, proc dela co dela? :) Copak se nejaky buh o sve "deti" nejakym zpusobem stara? :) Myslim, ze kdyz reknu, ze buh kychnul, zapomnel si dat ruku pred usta a z jeho hlenu plneho bozskych stafilokoku leticiho vesmirem vyklicila nase civilizace, je vysvetleni toho proc tu jsme stejne tak dobre jako to, ze buh to udelal zamerne behem 6ti dnu a 7meho dne si dal slofika... :) Zkratka se snazim predhodit alternativu tomu co vsichni povazuji za danou vec - tedy to ze buh je vsemocny, ze je to "on" (casto je v muzskem rode), a ze pokud je, tak ze nad nami neustale "bdi" a pomaha a kdovico jeste, ze My potrebujeme boha - cokdyz prave buh potrebuje nas? however zde melo byt ve smyslu at/jakkoliv/sebevic - neco mezi (ja mela pocit, ze se to v te souvislosti pouzit da, ale moje formalni anglicke vzdelani je minimalni, takze nerikam, ze je to anglicky spravne): "Jakkoliv rozhodnuto jsem bylo nevmesovat se, jakkoliv opatrne jsem skrylo svou existenci ..." V tomto pripade se mi na anglictine libi ta "ne-rodovost" vypravece - tedy Boha a to cestina muze nahradit jen tezko (myslim).