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:: Na SASPI.cz je právě 29010 příspěvků, 4550 autorů a 303546 komentářů :: on-line: 5 ::
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:: Breaking up ::
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“What’s up, baby?”
“…”
“Que te pasa?”
“Let me go, please.”
“No, no. Amorisito mio, porfavor, give me one more chance. I’ll change. I promise I will. I understand now. I know I hurt you. I know you have reason to leave me, but please stay.”
“…”
“Gatita?”
“I can’t Enrique, I can’t. I’ve heard it so many times before. You said it before, that you would change. And here we are again, same old story. I can’t take it anymore. We’ve had some good times together but overall I am not happy; I want more from life. I need someone who will understand me, who will stand by me, who will love me the way I am. And you deserve the same. I can’t give you what you want and you can’t give me what I want. Our goals in life are so different that we’ll ultimately make each other’s life a misery; can’t you see that?
I love you, baby. You know I do. I love you with all of my heart. Te amo con mi corazon conejito. But love is not enough to make a relationship work. We don’t share our dreams, our passions or goals in life. One of us would have to give up everything to make the other one happy and that just wouldn’t be fair. I am not prepared to give up everything for you or anyone else and I am not going to ask this of you. I want you to be happy but your happiness it’s not in my power.
I love you so much… I don’t know what to do…”
“Baby, please don’t cry. Stay with me, please. I promise that everything is going to be different. Don’t give up on me. Give me one last chance, please.”
“Oh, Ok”
“Thank you mi amor. Everything is going to be ok, you’ll see. Come here; give me a hug. I need a cuddle.”
I hate myself. I gave in again. I wish I were stronger. When he holds me, when I feel his arms around me, holding me so gently yet firmly, I feel that I am in the safest place in the world. When he kisses my forehead and I can smell his Channel Homme, I just can’t help myself but bring him even closer to my body. I just want him to hold me forever and never let go. It’s so hard to resist him.
The water in the bath is getting colder and I cling to him even more, so I can feel the heat of his body. It comforts me.
I know I shouldn’t stay with him. In my heart I have reached a decision. I know there’s no future for us. We can’t stay together. It’s so hard to make him understand that, to make him realize that he can never be happy with me. More importantly, I can never be happy with him.
Now I know how my mum felt when she was trying to leave my father. Today I have forgiven her. I used to hate her for staying with my father for so long and making our lives misery when she could have just left him. Now I know; it’s not that easy. She kept hoping he would change as he kept promising he would. It never happened. He never changed. Hope turned into despair and hate. Their relationship made my life hell and I used to blame them for it. Not anymore. Now I know.
“I am sorry, mum. I forgive you. Please, forgive me too, for not understanding what you were going through.”
I don’t want my relationship with Enrique to go that far. I don’t want to hate him. I want to finish it now, when I love him. Even though it hurts, I believe that is the best thing to do. I wish he would understand.
When I arrived at the decision few weeks ago I felt terrible pain but also a great relief. It was after we had an argument and I thought we reached a silent agreement that we split up. I left in the morning thinking I would never see him again. I was in such pain I couldn’t walk. My whole body was aching; my muscles, bones and my insides. I couldn’t eat and couldn’t sleep. I never experienced such pain before. It felt as if someone was trying to rip my heart out of my chest.
Then Enrique called.
He begged me to come back to him, that he would change. He begged me to give him one more chance. I gave in. And here we are again; the same situation, the same old story. This time it doesn’t hurt as much though. I care less. It scares me a bit, because I don’t want to end up not caring for him or even hating him. I feel it’s time to let go, but I can’t for some reason. I am so weak; it makes me angry; angry with myself.
The worst thing is that I know what is the best thing to do. I keep advising everybody else but am failing to apply that on myself. My colleague from work is going through similar stage in her relationship as I do, her situation however is much worse. Her boyfriend is an absolute control freak and doesn’t let her go anywhere without him, doesn’t let her to make her own decisions and just generally controls every aspect of her life. She is deeply unhappy and doesn’t even love him anymore, but up until now she was scared to stand up to him, to leave. They owe a house together and she has got a 16-year-old son who is in the middle of his A levels and doesn’t need any more stress in his life right now. She has confined in me and I've been helping her to change. She stood up to the bully and started to change her attitude. While encouraging her and advising her, giving her examples from my own life, I realised I should follow the advice in the first place. Everything became so clear to me by talking to her that I have made a decision to leave Enrique by Monday. I pray to God now that I will be strong enough to carry it out.
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OprsklinaPlott
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| (24.5.2012, 18:02) |
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Jay
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| (23.5.2012, 16:28) |
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Kostka
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| (22.5.2012, 19:55) |
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mikhal
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| (22.5.2012, 18:14) |
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| Kde nejčastěji hledáte zatoulanou inspiraci? |
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